personal essay

Christine Eagan
February 7, 2007
Creative Writing
Personal Essay


Have you ever heard the saying... everything happens for a reason? Well I am a firm believer
of that when I reflect upon my life’s experiences. I grew up at a very young age and faced many obstacles that a normal teen would not encounter. I have come to the realization that in my heart these life occurrences have made me the strong willed person that I am today.
I will never forget the sweaty hands, rapid heart beat and indescribable feeling I felt with just one look on his eyes. I felt as if he was the only person in the room and I was all that mattered. He made me feel so special as if he would give the whole world to me if I asked. His name was Cesar and he was my first true one and only love. I was only 16 and a junior in high school and he was 19 out of school and working. At that age what did I know he gave me everything I wanted and was perfect in every which way to me, nobody could have ever told me different. We were together everyday, all day inseparable... until I had to go on vacation for two weeks, which felt like forever. I left with my family heart broken and fearful that I would lose him. When I returned everything felt as if it went downhill, he was not returning my calls and was completely ignoring me and I thought to myself that there’s no way that this could be happening, we have something that I knew, even at 17 no one else could ever replace.
So that next day August 11, 2002 his friend called me and told me to come by his house and pick up a letter he had written to me. Of course anxious and nervous proceeded to his house. The letter said that he could not be with me anymore for a mistake he had made in the past and was soon to be incarcerated and that I was too young to go through it with him and that he wanted to me to live my life.
At that very moment in time I felt as if my heart was crushed into a million pieces, burned and full of the utmost despair. All I could reflect on was that he was my life and how much he makes me feel whole and I thought I was never going to be able to feel like that again.
I left his house tremendously upset tears of sorrow flowed; so much a river could have drowned me in my misery. On my way I was in such dismay I crashed and totaled my car, with stitches and cuts and bruises on my body. He was gone....but I kept in close contact with his mother.
So months passed and now it is my third month of my senior year and I find out that I am pregnant, 6 months pregnant, with my one and only's baby. So many thoughts raced through my mind, I have never felt so alone before. Keep in mind I am 17, Cesar is incarcerated and I have not heard from him since the letter. I told his mom first and than my parents, and quite surprisingly everyone took it well, even Cesar when his mother told him. So Cesar and I proceeded writing a vast amount of letters to each other.
Finally on February 25, 2003 our son Branden was born and more beautiful than ever. Now, three months passed and on May 3rd 2003 Branden and I go see Cesar, for me the first time in 10 months and for him his first time seeing his son. So many emotions were racing through my mind. Was this how my life intended to be? So there on after we proceeded to see him until his arrival home, encountering many bumps in the road.
Now a junior in college and my son 3 Cesar has finally came home January 31st 2007. Now he and I are engaged and happier than ever. Does everything happen for a reason? Were we meant for one another due to the obstacles we faced by each other’s sides. There is something that I gathered and that is that he needed me and my son needed me and we needed each other and in some crazy way I believe that now at 22 and Cesar 25 and our son turning 4, that is that there is no such thing as regrets because mistakes only make you stronger and want to work harder and I still believe today that, everything does happen for a reason.